Aug 25th

Layla is doing so good this week. They took her off of the sipap machine which helped her by blowing oxygen into her nose periodically. Now she does this completely on her own. She just has an oxygen hose around her nose. This gives her better mobility, too. She has really done a great job remembering to take breaths all by herself. They still have to give her caffeine to help stimulate her brain to keep her breathing. The nurses and doctors are very proud of little Layla. So are we.

She continues to consume milk. Now they are adding calories to the breast milk in efforts to help her gain weight more rapidly. She is up to 18 cc every three hours. I have to try to keep up with her now.  I have been bringing her food supply everyday now. My little piggy grows hungrier everyday. For someone so tiny, she sure eats a lot.

She has been awake a few times when I have gone to visit. She just looks around and tries to be nosey. Angelina came to visit with me today. Layla turned her head completely to the other side when Angelina started talking to her through the glass. I know she is aware of our presence. She doesn't want to miss a thing, just like the rest of the Stiegler girls. Now that we can see her face more clearly, I am amazed at what a beautiful baby she is. I thought she was so cute before, but beautiful doesn't do her any justice these days.

The nurses tell us to hold her twice a day. I got to hold her yesterday. I love those days. It really keeps me together. I feel her heartbeat against my chest, and it is music to my weary soul. She clams down when I hold her as she sleeps. I could hold her all day long if they let me. We still have to ensure she can maintain her body temperature, so I cannot hold her for more than an hour. It's really the best hour of the day...until I hold her again!

Friday they will scan her brain again to check on the brain bleeding. She will get her blood tested to make sure it is producing red blood cells. If not then she may need another transfusion. Preemies can not do this as their bone marrow is not mature enough to handle this responsibility. So we hope and pray that if she needs it, it will go as smoothly as the last time.

Love and prayers for my sweet Layla

Kathleen

I feel an inner struggle

that takes a hold of me

The sorrow and the pain

I want to set it free

I can't explain the emptiness

It grows deep inside

It over takes my every thought

It makes me want to cry

I hold my thoughts inside my head

they try to slip away

I focus on containing them

It's a battle every day

Some days are battle free

I go on, without a fight

I manage to function

but it's not a pretty sight

I'm exhausted and worried

I feel torn apart

I pray every day

Yet I ache inside my heart

The love that surrounds me

the hope that I have

It pulls me to a better place

some where not as sad