September 3rd

Today Layla had another ultrasound on her head. They are still watching to make sure the swelling has stopped.They will keep doing this until all the blood has drained from where it was pooling. They will still fallow up with a MRI. We will find the results out any day.

She looked great today. I spent about two hours with her this morning. I held her for almost the entire time.I sat I prayed and I smelled her. We tucked her right inside my shirt so she could have kangaroo care.(skin to skin contact) It's very nice, but you can only see the top of her head. She gets herself snuggled right between my breast. Where she slept for almost an hour. The last 40 minutes she fussed about. She needed to stretch out,so it was time to move her back into her bed. She laid there for awhile and looked around. She got comfortable very fast, and of course feel asleep.

It is so very hard to walk away when it's time to leave. I think I'm going to have some separation anxiety issues when this is all done and over. I know I won't want to put her down or have her out of my sight. I plan on spending every possible moment with her when she comes home.

Gaining weight is her biggest hurdle now. Once she gets some fat on her she will pick up the weight a lot faster. Homecoming for her will depend on how much she weighs eventually. I can't imagine she will be much more than 5 lbs when I get to take her home. Who knows that seems so far off right now. I want the time to go by faster, but I don't want to miss out on her growing up. She might be three or four months old before we can bring home our NEWBORN baby girl. When that better day come we will be ready with balloons and flowers like I just had her. That day will mark the beginning of her life with all her brothers and sisters, who can't wait to have her home.
I'm hoping that by Thanksgiving we can celebrate and be thankful for just life in general. Her life, our lives, our family, and God almighty. Who, with out him, I would crumble and fall to pieces. I would not have the strength to wake up or move from my bed. Since I know that God has control of everything, I walk, talk, function, and I have faith.
Prayers and love for my sweet Layla
Kathleen